I was at a friend\'s house last night, and we were preparing for her birthday party - she is turning 21.
She was relating the reply of someone who hadn\'t rsvped by the request date, and had to be followed up: \'ummmmm ... yeah, I might be coming, but might not either\'.
And I could totally relate - I hit this problem with horrifying frequency. I entertain a lot - I put a lot of energy and care into the guest list, the invitations (printed, snail mail ones - not electronic), the food, the music and the ambience. But it seems that common politeness goes out the window for a lot of guests. What is with people today? Entertaining has turned into a nightmare.
People don\'t want to commit in case they get a better offer, or meet one of the Jonas Brothers or Sean Bean (depending on your age), but heavens it is so rude!
The message it sends: you aren\'t important enough in my life to commit to. Fair enough if you are already busy and that is why you are declining, but for anybody who doesn\'t have a good reason, or suffers from the malaise of the lazy, listen up - this one is for. These rules aren\'t hard and fast, and most revolve around politeness. So now, when I invite you to something, you know how to handle it.
Rule One: RSVP Dates: This one is an easy one. Reply by the RSVP date. Your host should not have to chase you.
They are not in the invitation to fill up space, or for the host\'s amusement. Generally, they are there to help the host confirm catering, a booking or similar.
Rule Two: RSVP Does Not Mean Maybe: Answer Yes or No. Also see rule one for timeliness. I blame (at least partially) facebook for the rise of the \'maybe\' answer. Indecisiveness is unbecoming. Your host needs a definite answer.
Rule Three: Make a Choice: Answer Yes or No. You have a choice to make if you don\'t want to go. But you have to make a choice - don\'t previcate.
See how easy it it? If you do say yes, you might enjoy yourself, have a laugh, meet the Jonas brothers or Sean Bean, and other nice, shiny new people. If you do say no, you don\'t have to make up an excuse (like an early squash game), just thank the host for the invitation, and tell them you won\'t be able to go.
Rule Four: Don\'t Change Your Mind: Short of death or dismemberment, don\'t change your mind. And don\'t pull out on the day - honestly the host is frantically trying to create a memorable experience for you. It is like a body blow - please don\'t do it.
Check whether you are dead, are missing a limb or severely infectious. If you aren\'t any of those things, head along to the party. Remember, the Jonas brothers or Sean Bean, and other nice, shiny new people may/will be there.
Rule Five: Be nice: Bring a host or hostess gift. Yes, I know, how terribly antiquated. And terribly polited and terribly appreciative and terribly appreciated. There has been an enormous amount of effort put in on your behalf and as a guest you have a responsibility to have a great time, help other people have a great time and support your host - it ain\'t all about you and your bottle of vodka.
The gift doesn\'t have to be big. Or grandiose. It could be a bottle of wine. A bunch of flowers. Their favourite fruit. After dinner mints. A Freddo frog. A book they might like. A beautifully wrapped soap. A nice chutney. A cute stapler if they are a stationery nut.
It shows that you value their efforts. And it won\'t go unnoticed. And it might help you get out of the washing up.
So there you have it. Five simple rules to ensure that you are not a schmucky guest. If you are one of those guests, take heed. And if you are a host trying to arrange your next event, maybe print this off and slip it in the invitation!
Is it just me?
What about entertaining today makes your blood boil?
